Dec 31, 2007

안녕 to R & 2007

Can't say 2007 has been a smooth sailing year for me. Things hasn't been anywhere near the word "great" during the last couple of months. I've been through disappointment,distress,desperation,depression and gawk knows what other D words I can use to describe the damn year. Of course in between those awful D's there were also those bits and pieces of joy. Tho the former seemed to have played a larger role.
Last day of the year, while brushing my teeth I started thinking about the upcoming new year. I've no intention of bringing with me all those depressive matters into the new year. Yet I know I won't forget. I've procrastinated what I think is long enough in writing the tribute to R. Today I shall bid him goodbye here and bury him inside me.R, a friend I've known since my younger days. We goof'ed together, laughed and had lots of good memories together. Always there in times of comfort needed. He reads me like a book, knowing when to zip up and simply sitting next to me when I'm in one of those "I dun wanna talk" moods. He knows how to chide me when I'm doing wrong. He defended me like a elder brother I never had. He never runs away even when my bitch mode is on. I like the way he teased me every time he called me and the first thing he'll ask is "Seh mei?" (die already or not? in Cantonese) He's the only one that calls me an idiot whom I do not whack with a baseball bat. He whom rushes over to ur place in the wee hours of the night to send you to the ER and staying there with me till I'm better to go home. Never once complaining.

One day in September this year. On his way to visit his aunt in Hongkong. His life ended because of a drunkard brainless prickhead that drove straight pass a traffic light while he was crossing. I was in the midst of an online game when I received the phone call from a mutual friend telling me to take in a deep breath. I laughed and said "what lar?!? I'm gaming now .. call me back later!!!" Only den when K shouted on the phone "R IS GONE!!!" I frozed.
I felt numbish all over, I had no reaction. I hung up without a word.
The following days and months were hell to me. I was a walking zombie. Everything and everywhere served a reminder of him to me. Even while I was out, I often'ed drifted to my own la la land. I miss him badly and it hurts to the point of breathlessness.
Today I bid farewell to R and also to the screw'ed year of 2007.

Funny thing, before that I was a highly addicted gamer but ever since that phone call, I've not gamed at all. Friends and family members started asking why I stopped playing. Seriously I dunno myself. I keep having this crazy feeling that I'll receive another phone call with that kind of news while I game. Dumb and weird... I can't explain.. Just lost all interest in that game.

Birth of was during the time I dealt with his death.
The word napaboaniya which is the romanised form of 나바보안니야 means I'm not an idiot.
No longer will I hear R calling me an idiot. It's me telling R once more "I'm not an idiot!!".

안녕히 가세요 R....
Forever remembered and never forgotten..
98th Day.

5 Divulge:

Bengbeng said...

Happy New Year to you and family!

CRIZ LAI said...

Thanks for being around always during 2007. Happy 2008 and may your life be filled with lots of love, joy, happiness, health, wealth and success for the new year and many years to come.

Marla said...

It is so hard to lose a good friend. I too lost a friend in a bad wreck. I still miss him. Occassionaly I have dreams where we see one another. I love those dreams.

everydayhealy said...

No hard feelings, dear... let the past be the past. He will be always be with you, in your thoughts and you memories.

I am sure R want you to have a great 2008 and always fill with laughter for the many years to come. :)

Kaila's Mommy said...

Wow how powerful. I love that you are "sticking it to him" very original blog name. Sorry for your loss as well.

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