It seems to me that my long awaited answer has just been answered.
Irony it was answered without an answer.

It's Friday! Yah.. and I'm hibernating at home. I so wanna go canoe tomorrow!! But apparently everyone I've asked thinks I'm mad!! "You're practically in the water every single day! and you're choosing to go canoe in the open sea on your day off!!" Ya, I may seem nuts but I really wanna get out there, get burned in the sun, drown my stuffy head in seawater, get tired, get occupied and come back home to flop on my bed. How else am I going to get myself distracted from the "hidden territory"?

Last weekend was torturous and I do not wish to end up feeling the same way this weekend. It's time for me to clear my mind. Move on. Think properly how I wanna deal with this. I can send an email out pouring it all out. Or just get on with life.

You ask about my conscience
And I offer you my soul
You ask if I'll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I'll grow old
You ask me if I've known love
And what it's like to sing songs in the rain
Well I've seen love come,
I've seen it shot down
I've seen it die in vain

11th Day

Listening to : Blaze Of Glory - Bon Jovi
Feeling : Purest of pain